Two

by Sara Lufrano

I took her hand in mine as we walked away from our office building to get an afternoon cup of coffee.

“I thought about you all weekend,” I said.

“So you guys weren't doing much then?” she asked.

“No,” I shook my head and pulled her in to give her a side hug as we walked, dodging others on their way, “we went to dinner Saturday, lunch on Sunday. We put up some shelves she'd made.”

She sighed and I knew why.

“I know. We didn't expect this so it's weird.”

“I want you to tell her.”

We were silent walking through the door of our favorite coffee shop. I held her close to me as we stood in line. I ran my fingers through her long hair. My girlfriend has short hair, I can't do this with her.

She held onto me and rubbed her hands up and down my lower back. I don't know when she started that habit but she's the only one that's ever done that.

“I love you,” I said as I pressed the side of my face against the side of her head.

She squeezed me.

“What did you do this weekend?” I asked.

“Did some spring cleaning. Organized. I talked with my mom.”

“How is she?”

“Old and tired. It's still cold there.”

She ordered a small latte. I ordered a black tea.

We stood to the side and waited.

“I don't like that you're like this,” I said.

“Like what?”

“Sad? Disappointed? I don't know exactly what you are but you're not yourself.”

“I am not myself.”

The barista called our order. We left holding hands. Once we were out of the door and headed back to the office, I pulled her to me and wrapped my arm around her.

“I'll tell her tonight.”

She pulled away from me. “Really?”

I looked in her eyes and nodded. “Yeah.”

She kissed me and placed her hand on the side of my face. She was happy.

“Babe, are you home?” I closed the door behind me. The living room light was on.

“I'm here!” She called back from the bedroom.

I put my backpack down next to the couch and she came out and wrapped her arms around my neck. We kissed hello like we do everyday.

“How was the traffic?” she asked, still hugging me.

I hugged her back. She was so familiar. I held her tighter.

“Same as usual. I'm going to try going down Westlake so I don't get stuck behind people getting on the freeway. Did you pick out a place to eat?”

“Yep,” she pulled away from me but kissed me again before getting her phone. “It's just down the street. I thought we could walk.”

“Yeah, let's do it.”

I walked into the bedroom and closed my eyes while I thought about telling her that this was it. Say it with the first drink, wait until we're both almost done, the second drink?

She came in the room and changed her shirt. She smiled at me. “What?”

My lips pulled into a smile and my heart swelled a little. “Nothing.”

“Are you going to change or anything or are you ready?”

“I can go just like this.”

“Let's go.”

I was quiet on the way. She didn't ask me why.

We sat down at a small two-person wood table right away. The place was half full. A waiter was over quickly to get our drink order.

“Hey, so,” I put my hand out on the table and she took it. “Somethings have come up and I'm hoping that you understand.”

She waited patiently for me to continue but the pulse in my neck kept me from talking.

My phone buzzed with a text. I glanced down. It was from “Stas Baboi.”

“What's up?” she asked me.

That's her. I kept her under the name of an offshore resource at work that I was able to weave into stories. I unlocked the phone and opened the text.

The text read, Don't tell her. I thought about it and I don't want to be with you anymore.

“Hey?” she shook my hand.

“Sorry.” I locked my phone and put it face down.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just frustrating work stuff.”

“Oh,” she rubbed my hand. “You'll take care of it. You're great and they're lucky to still have you.”